A Heart for One Nation

I haven't posted in forever- almost 2 years now. Life got crazy and there was trasition and then, there was just silence. I got tired of talking. So I just wanted to listen for awhile.

Recently, I have had the privilege to interact with individuals who feel another culture being woven into their lives- almost involuntarily. Another culture, language, food, geographical place. Some have lived -for just a moment- in a place totally foreign to them in the truest sense of the word, so have not. And now, they feel the pull. Is it magnetic? Is it a chatostrophic change in their cycle of life? What does it mean? Why have I encountered dozens of people all with the same call to different countries for one reason? I have seen American suburbia have a passionate desire to walk alongside of orhpans in Ukraine, meet Muslims in Southern Spain, and live life with indigenous peoples in Kenya. How does a red-headed Texan feel so zealous about a little parentless child who speaks Russian, a language she has never before studied or spoken, and yet now, she is compelled to communicate. Why there? Why now? Why them? What a design to watch!

Power in Praying Women

Yesterday morning was the first day that me and some fellow ladies gathered to pray. It was a great feeling to see an idea come to fruition and be manifested in these women sitting in front of me. I admitted to them that I didn't know exactly what our group should look like or the format for that matter, but that I just wanted to see us come together in prayer to be soldiers for our community, churches and each other.

I can't wait to see what the Lord is going to do with us; to see Him prove His faithfulness to us through our obedience. We were all very blessed by our time together with Him.

The Promise of Answered Prayer

As I was reading the unparalleled goodness of Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest today, I was reminded that God is much bigger than my unbelief. I have a dream that I have prayed about since I was an adolescent and pursued (at least in my heart and passions) for just as long. I recall I was much more excited about the potential possiblities that could sprout from this dream when I was younger. As I've gotten older, I have lost a lot of the belief that anything could come out of the dream. Do you think that age sucks a lot of the life out of us? Does it seem to resonate with you that the more birthdays you tuck under your belt, the less you feel you have to offer or the more you feel the time you once had in your palm to pursue the crazy and exciting dreams is slipping away from you. An hour glass couldn't paint a prettier analogy for me. And as I get older, even though I'm only 26, I find my enthusiasm for the potential and my confidence dwindles a little more. Sometimes I can almost hear the sand granules falling- tink, tink.... Encouraging.

I was convicted a bit about my unbelief as I read through Chambers' thoughts. "Jesus never mentioned unanswered prayer. He had the unlimited certainty of knowing that prayer is always answered." Prayer is always answered. Why would a God full of goodness encourage us to pray when it would go unanswered. If we "walk in the light as he is in the light we have fellowship with each other and the blood cleanses us from unrighteouness" and, consequently, our prayers are righteous. When our prayers are the righteous desires of God's heart, then they won't go unanswered. He notes that Jesus said, "everyone who asks, receives" (Matt 7:8). Chambers says, "God answers prayer in the best way- not just somtimes, but every time. However, the evidence of the answer in the area we want it may not alwyas immediately follow. Do we expect God to answer prayer?" He goes on to note that our inclination as humans is to water down what Jesus said and make it into something commonsense. This is as good as discounting the cost of our salvation and the sacrifice made on the cross. Chambers says, "If it were only commonsense, what He said would not even be worthwile." And we know much better than that- that everything about Jesus was worthwhile: what he said, what he did and who he was. He was God. So if God told us to pray and the He would answer, what are we waiting for. I think it's time to step out in faith, asking God to gives us the desires of HIS heart and tell God yes- that we are ready for him to answer.

The Benefit of a Drought

I confess, this is a forced entry...only because I haven't felt moved by much since the "Revolutionary" post, which I love so much that I want to post it again. This has been a crazy season in life- it seems many people. I know it has been for me. I have talked to God, I have prayed to him, and I have neglected him. I have had people tell me that my "heart isn't in it" and that I'm not committed, and honestly- that just hasn't served to be encouraging at all, but just the opposite. I see that the people all around me deserve the grace that I should afford them but don't, and I expect the grace that is afforded me over and over.

Monday, we are leaving to go to Ethiopia. When we got back from Mississippi for Easter, it hit me. It hit me like WHAM! I can't believe I'm doing this. I'm going to Africa. I have wanted to go to Africa since I was young. I have wanted to see this place that Joseph Conrad wrote about, that is torn by it's people, that was ravaged by money-hungry merchants and the desperation that is built into the human soul to enslave another. I want to see the landscape and wildlife and see the people and listen to their stories. I want to see God moving there. I have NO idea what to expect. I can only expect the food we've eaten here, some street markets, old cars and nice weather. I can't wait to see this church that Pastor Zeb leads and how the Holy Spirit is moving and alive there. I can't wait to see their zeal. Selfishly, I can't wait to see how it affects me. Today, as I was listening to a popular Christian song, I was struck by the profundity of the Creator. The profundity of how we need him, and when we seek him and find him, the profundity of the emotion and rapture that we feel in our soul...the experience that is God. I realize what I'm missing out on here. I'm just being really vulnerable right now. Pride would have me say- "I know what it is. I know what I'm doing wrong. I've had it before and know what it is, so don't patronize or look down on me." But it's just the place I'm in. I'm a sinner. I need Jesus. I can't do it on my own, and I don't want to. I can't possibly fabricate the experience that is God. I am just dying to have his anointing on my life and feel his power in my spirit. It's the only place I want to be. He has proven himself so faithful to me this past few months. I have an amazing man in my life who loves me like no other man ever has. And I don't feel mushy about saying it because it has all been God, and I feel like I need to share. He has given my understanding of love a new definition. I can't even understand it. God has used him to teach me so much about Himself- how he loves us and redeems us. And there have been a slew of other things.
It is true that every Believer that has ever been or will be will go through periods when the Lord seems to withdraw, and I don't know that I will ever fully understand why. I know I don't like it. But if our lives were great all the time, and the Lord was overtly present at every moment, who's to say pride wouldn't take control of our walk, and I know I don't want that. There is a drought right now in Ethiopia, but I think it is going to be a time of flourishing abundance for our team and the Father shows us new things about himself. I cannot wait.

Pressed for Time!

Sorry I haven't been able to blog lately. I have been so swamped with things to do for the opening of the coffeehouse today!! And now my computer is about to die, and I don't know where the power cord is. Ebenezers opens today!!! It is going to be so good to see God bring to fruition the fruit of his promise and all the labor of all those who have poured into this dream.

Revolutionary

I just finished watching a movie about the young Ernesto "Che" Guevara. It really provoked thought about Christ. Che Guevara was a revolutionary who began his journey as such because of the injustice and suffering that he saw in those who were not considered worthy of society's esteem. He was a doctor who worked with lepers in a small leper colony in Peru, who traveled across South America, talking with the indigenous people he would encounter, listening to their stories. He touched the lepers who treated with his bare hands, and he loved them. Because of his sever asthma, he could commiserate with their pain. I realize that this movie was just that- Hollywood. But as I watched how people who he loved were moved to love him and look to him, it made me think of Jesus. Jesus was a revolutionary. I truly believe there are no two ways about that statement. He came into the Judeo world- and threw it off kilter. He pissed people off. He cracked a whip in the makeshift marketplace at the temple and he hissed at them to find the exit door ASAP. He seethed at the Pharisees calling them vipers and troublemakers. He was the advocate for the poor, hurt, unwanted, cynical and bitter. He defined "revolutionary" in a way that maybe we're not used to. He showed love to the loveless and hated anything and anyone that was the antithesis of his message and life-goal. These days there are so many people out there who want to be a so-called "revolutionary". But we forget the love variable of the equation. Without love, it is hatred and futile religion. Without love, it is rigid obligation- not service. Without love, our efforts at serving are empty, our words are propaganda, and our lives as Christians are a farce. I want to be that kind of revolutionary. I was to be so raw and real with those people who hate God because of their hurt and think life is a painful, uphill journey towards more captivity. As I was mulling over these thoughts, I heard this verse: "He is the God who keeps every promise, and gives justice to the poor and oppressed, and food to the hungry. He frees the prisoners, and opens the eyes of the blind; he lifts the burdens from those bent down beneath their loads. For the Lord loves good men. He protects the immigrants, and cares for the orphans and widows. But he turns upside down the plans of the wicked." Psalm 146:7-9 And Isaiah 61:1, "He has sent me (Jesus) to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclain freedom for the captives and release from the darkness for the prisoners." He came to loose the chains and set us free from our sickness. Jesus is our revolutionary hero. When he was around people, healing and playing with the kids and giving advice to those around him, he couldn't get away because they were clinging to him as he was leaving. He was so loved because of the love he showed. Now if we can only replicate the accuracy of how his love was so real and relational. He was real. It was real, genuine love. It wasn't packaged, shipped and bought from a shelf. He saw these people and LOVED who they were. He was the one who announced his sadness more over one lost sheep than 99 that were present and accounted for. What a justifier!! What a hero. And what a historic revolutionary.

A Day Away

Today a group of us went hiking in Great Falls. I love going there. It is therapy for my soul when the city is has become overbearing, the noise is too much and the busyness of my life overwhelms me. To be out in the woods around running water, the air, the random ducks that are perched on rocks and watching the grace of a kayaker on the swirls in the river- it is all poetry. As I walked next to the water, I could hear the servant's song that the babbling water sings in my favorite book, Hinds Feet on High Places:

Come, oh come! let us away-
Lower, lower every day,
Oh, what joy it is to race
Down to find the lowest place.
This the dearest law we know-
'It is happy to go low.'
Sweetest urge and sweetest will,
'Let us go down lower still.'
Hear the summons night and day
Calling us to come away.
From the heights we leap and flow
To the valleys down below.
Always answering to the call,
To the lowest place of all.
Sweetest urge and sweetest pain,
To go low and rise again."

What a beautiful, dancing image for us to be reminded that it is sweet worship the Lord through serving. It was refreshing to walk next to the water and take some time to speak with the Lord, and his presence there was awesome. As I prayed, the wind would come in strong gusts, and I knew he was there. I haven't felt that awesomeness in awhile, and my prayer for refreshing was answered. Our God is so big and loud- how could we ever survive his magnitude if not for the grace that he gives us by stooping down low to whisper to us at levels we can ascertain. And if experiencing God on that level is powerful and magnificent, I can't wait until the day when it is unfiltered and unplugged! We serve and love a beautiful and amazing Creator who wants to be with us, talk to us and bless us. I want us to be so consumed by that truth, and I pray that he would use us to our fullest abilities and bring our dreams to fruition.